Not very pc world

I had to visit the PC World store on Newmarket Road in Cambridge on Thursday evening. Our son's power chord for his laptop had become limp and useless. Presumably it was the male connector, exhausted after too many exciting power surges. The store was full of 'assistants' in purple shirts, hiding behind bays of kit or chatting to their friends. Typically, English people tried desperately to catch their eye or hope they'd be noticed by some hidden body language signs. They were, but little assistance was forthcoming. First rule of PC World: just because you can doesn't mean that you should.

The PC support area is branded as 'Tech Guys.' One rather large geek was serving a middle-aged couple. Their laptop was being sent away and they treated like a child going off to boarding school. Only this time they were so sad to see it go. Even the multitude of forms they had to sign didn't reassure them that it would be in safe hands. another, younger man was waiting with his laptop on the counter, patiently waiting and forming a solitary queue as only we can. Eventually, comforting each other, the older couple left and our geek, via a little down time in the back room and much hoisting of marquee-size trousers came back to the counter. 'Are you being served, sir?' he sweated. I thought at first he was being ironic but clearly not. Second rule of PC World: ignore the obvious and hopefully it will ignore you until it gets bored and goes away.

I then got approached by a showroom mannequin. He had no face because that would have required an expression of interest. They don't do that at PC World. He connected the power chord via a safety clip to test whether it was working or not. 'That's a hi tech piece of kit' I offered. Clearly there was no response because he had been trained to reveal nothing. Banging the PC down in the back room he tried another chord which did work and told me, rather like a small and powerless child condemned to the Poor House in Dickensian England, that I would have to go to ...'the warehouse.' I thanked him for his analysis and enquired as to whether he felt he should re-boot his personality. He didn't react. Third rule of PC World: let the PCs do the talking for you and remain in standby mode whenever possible.